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In March, singer Monica filed for divorce from husband Shannon Brown after more than eight years together. Since the news broke, parties involved have been pretty mum about it. Monica has been accused of being too mum, actually. However, the star decided to break her silence on this week’s episode of T.I. & Tiny: Friends and Family Hustle. 

In a clip from the episode, the 38-year-old mother of three sat with her mom Marilyn and a therapist. In the presence of both women, she revealed the toll her recent split has had on her.

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“I think a lot of my life changes have become so complex and difficult. I had two children. I stayed in that relationship a long time, and he was a loss on both levels,” she said when speaking on her ex, Rodney ‘Rocko’ Hill. “Then I finally met my husband and then I had my daughter, and it was good that he was athletic like the boys, so they had their own bond; and then now that’s a loss. It’s been some rough weeks these last few weeks.”

While, of course, the star didn’t go into detail about why things didn’t work out (there were rumors of infidelity and Brown rarely appeared on Friends and Family Hustle), she said in a confessional that she was struggling to be okay emotionally.

“Things in my personal life have been changing a lot, and it has not been easy,” she said. “I can not lie. My personal relationship is taking a major toll on me. I’m feeling it every day. I’ve been keeping everything to myself and I feel overwhelmed.”

The best way she’s managed to cope has been by not slowing down and wallowing in sadness, but by the end of the clip, she was in tears.

“I’m everybody’s go-to, and I think it makes people think I’m pretending to be perfect when in actuality, I just don’t believe in pausing,” she said. “Cause it’s like you pause and you get stuck.”

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Monica and Shannon Brown wed in 2010 after meeting on the set of her music video “Love All Over Me” that same year. They share a daughter, 5-year-old Laiyah, and as she mentioned, he’s been stepfather to her sons, Romelo, 11, and Rodney (the III), 13.

Check out Monica’s vulnerable moment below.