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Sometimes I think you really don't understand me at all

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A lot of people use the phrase “I have trust issues” to cover a wide range of vulnerability problems. But the inner workings of someone who has a hard time trusting can go much deeper than just a blanket sentence.

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Having trust issues in relationships usually means that a person isn’t comfortable being vulnerable with or counting on another person,” Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, and wellbeing coach, told Elite Daily.

A lot of time this hesitation can be linked to traumatizing past experiences.

“Somewhere along the line the person with trust issues was shown that it is not safe to depend on or be vulnerable in front of other people — not even their loved ones,” Melamed explained.

Continuing, “If relationships are the trigger for the trust issues the likelihood of them coming up, is pretty good,” Melamed explained.

“The new relationship, though not familiar because of the newness, might have features of the old environment thus triggering the trust issues to come in and ‘protect’ the individual.”

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin MS, LCPC, Certified Imago Therapist, and co-founder of The Marriage Restoration Project, told Elite that it is the wounded person’s responsibility to work through their layers.

“Trust issues are developed from pain in prior relationships,” Slatkin explained.

“People do carry these issues into new relationships until they work to resolve it within themselves.”

Melamed advises that you practice self awareness to find out how your issues manifest–it could be fears of being left alone, abandoned, cheated on or a variety of other anxieties that are contributing to your clinginess, phone checking, outbursts etc.

“Be proactive about examining the source and create strategies around managing the feeling when they come up,” Melamed says, “A lot of time when individuals have trust issues they also do not trust their own capacity to set healthy boundaries with the people in their lives.”

But there is hope. Be patient with yourself, but definitely consult a professional and start to work a little bit outside of your comfort zone when someone comes into your life who is healthy and worth it.

“People can get over their trust issues by being able to have a safe and transparent relationship as well as being the recipient of consistent loving behaviors. Over time trust will build,” Slatkin says.

SOURCE: MadameNoire.com

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