Gabrielle Union Says Splitting Everything 50/50 Was a Trauma Response
Gabrielle Union Says Splitting Everything 50/50 Was a “Trauma Response”
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Gabrielle Union is opening up about how her perspective on splitting finances in her marriage has evolved, revealing that her past belief in an even 50/50 split was actually rooted in trauma.
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In a recent interview on the “Balanced Girl” podcast with Les Alfred, Union reflected on how her mindset regarding relationships and money has shifted over time. Two years ago, she made headlines when she shared that she and her husband, NBA legend Dwyane Wade, split their household expenses equally. At the time, she saw this as empowering, but now, she recognizes that it was a coping mechanism tied to past trauma.
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“I famously said 50/50 or bust, and I meant that in every way—financially, spiritually, emotionally,” Union admitted. “But there are just a lot of days when I have 10%, and I need him to be 90. There are days I don’t have anything, and I need him to be 100.”
When Union first revealed her approach to finances, she was surprised by the strong reaction from social media. For her, it was about independence and ensuring she could always take care of herself, especially as she also financially supports family members outside of her home. But looking back, she now sees that her obsession with financial equality stemmed from her past trauma.
Union shared that she was diagnosed with PTSD after being sexually assaulted at 19, an experience that shaped how she navigates control and security in her life. “The extreme anxiety, the anxiety attacks, being hyperfocused on efficiency and time, and being fiercely independent are all trauma responses,” she explained. Working on Season 3 of “Truth Be Told,” which focused on missing and assaulted Black girls, forced her to confront these buried feelings.
“50/50 is me saying, ‘I’m not going to be vulnerable enough to trust you with 100% of anything—not my heart, not my cash, not my energy,’” she said. This realization led her to start letting go of that mindset, though it hasn’t been easy. She recalled feeling intense anxiety when she asked Wade to take on more of their mortgage. “I thought I was going to die. I was crying. I was shaking. And he was like, ‘You insisted on it. I thought it made you feel better,’” she shared.
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Though Wade earns significantly more than her, Union admitted that letting go of financial control was terrifying. “I hate the feeling of releasing that responsibility to someone else because when you do, chaos can happen,” she said. However, she’s learning to trust and be vulnerable, realizing that true partnership isn’t about rigid equality—it’s about balance and support.
Union is still working through these changes but says the shift has strengthened her marriage. “I’m trying to expand my heart and what vulnerability looks like,” she said. “And it feels good to relinquish some of these things.”
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