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Tymetrica Cohns mugshot

Source: Kentwood PD / Kentwood PD

In today’s episode of Now, Sis’, What Is You Doin’? a high school cafeteria worker in Louisiana has been arrested after being accused of selling cannabis edibles to students, which would indicate that she has taken the “high” part of “high school” far too literally. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Please don’t block me.)

According to WAFB, 45-year-old Tymetrica Cohns was actually a temporary cafeteria worker at Jewel M. Sumner High School in Kentwood, Louisiana, before she was arrested Friday for allegedly selling homemade baked goods laced with cannabis to teenagers, which, you know, is like selling Scooby snacks to Scooby and Shaggy for the most part (I mean, it’s still wrong, but I’m jussayin’).

Tangipahoa Parish said they were notified about Cohns’ alleged extra-illegal-curricular activities through a Crime Stoppers app. In fact, apparently, it was a student who blew the whistle on the alleged operation, which, well, might have made them somewhat unpopular around the lunch table if anyone found out. (Again, jussayin’)

“I want to commend this student who saw something and used the app to bring this threat to the attention of our school officials and law enforcement,” Tangipahoa Parish School Superintendent Melissa Stilley said in a statement. She also explained that Cohns was a substitute worker hired by Education Staffing Solutions (ESS), a staffing service that places substitute employees in schools.

“The safety and well-being of our students are paramount,” Police Chief Jimmy Travis of the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Office said. “We encourage using the P3 app to report anything they feel threatens their ability to learn in a safe environment.”

Yeah, man, you can’t, as a middle-aged adult especially, be out here selling weed to kids while they’re in their learning environment. Imagine adding 4/20-friendly pastries to a high school lunch menu. People are while, bruh.

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