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Taraji P. Henson used the latest episode of her Peace Of Mind series on Facebook Watch to reveal a shocking secret — she contemplated suicide during the pandemic.

Speaking with Dr. LaShonda Green and her co-host Tracie Jade, the Academy Award-nominee says she had a moment for two nights where she didn’t care and had thoughts of “ending it.”

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“It happened two nights in a row,” Henson said. “I had purchased a gun not too long ago and it’s in a safe. I started going, ‘I could go in there right now and just end it all.’ Cause I wanted to be over. I thought about my son, I said, ‘He’s grown, he’ll get over it.’

She added, “I felt myself withdrawing, people calling, I didn’t answer … I didn’t care. A part of me was ashamed. I didn’t want to be handicapped and I didn’t want to be weird. So one day I blurted it out. A girlfriend called me in the morning and I just blurted it out, ‘You know I thought about killing myself,’ and I felt better. I felt like, if I don’t say it, that’s when it becomes a plan. The bad part was, I thought about this two nights in a row. First night was, I don’t want to be here and the second night, I thought about getting the gun.”

Since starting the series, Henson has spoken to a number of issues regarding mental health including surviving mental breakdowns with Tamar Braxton. Henson turned 50 earlier this year and while she’s used the pandemic to help center mental health and advocate for those to seek therapy, she’s also dealt with her split from fiancé Kelvin Hayden.

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Taraji P. Henson Opens Up About Her Mental Health During The Pandemic: “I Had A Dark Moment”  was originally published on