When Chrissy Lampkin proposed to Jim Jones in Season 1 of Love and Hip Hop, it was one of many moments in her short time on the show that would follow her for years, especially since the pair hasn’t, to this day, actually married. But would you believe that she hasn’t ever watched that moment?

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“For the record guys, I never watched the show,” she said in a recent VH1 interview. “So when I’m watching it now I’m like wow. I’m like holy sh-t. I would put all the TVs on, one in the kitchen, one in the bathroom and then I go somewhere else, because it was hard to watch yourself.”

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So VH1 had the 48-year-old TV personality watch that moment, and they filmed her reaction to the infamous scene. She had plenty to say about it, particularly when it came to Mama Nancy Jones‘s annoyed response to finding out with everyone else that she was proposing.

“Yo, do you see his mother’s face? She need to be hosed down,” she said. In the clip when Mama Jones says “I don’t need no surprise,” Chrissy replies, while watching the moment, “It ain’t for you! I’m not asking you to marry me so sit yo a– down somewhere. You would have had a problem either way.”

In the scene when she gave Jim the ring, she talked about the men who gave her a hard time for seemingly inspiring other women to pop the question when they’re tired of waiting on their men.

“You know how many guys cursed me out about this scene?” she said. “They like, ‘Yo, she actually bought me the ring, what I’m supposed to do now?!’ A lot of guys would call my phone like, ‘Can’t believe you did this sh-t.’”

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She also had some interesting thoughts during a moment after popping the question when Jim asked her if she was sure about wanting to be engaged. At the time, Chrissy told him that she was after thinking long and hard about everything because “I can’t see myself with anybody else.” Watching that moment back, Chrissy said, “Ask me that now…”

When she was finished watching the scene Chrissy made it clear that she has no regrets about the moment, even though the couple haven’t married. As she has stated on the show since, she is not necessarily interested in tying the knot anymore because she feels like they’re still not ready for that commitment.

“You know I never watched this? That was a lot,” she said when the clip was over. “I felt the love. I felt the nerves. I saw his mother’s behavior. It was weird and I’m not in that space anymore, but that’s okay. I still love him. The love is still there.”

“The importance of marriage, I think I’ve put on the back burner because I think people need to be whole as individuals before they come together for a union. It’s been a lot of years and I still got a lot of growing to do. He has even more growing to do. So a marriage is something that I think two people have to be ready for at the same time. But at that moment when I asked him did I expect to get married right away? No. Did I expect to still be engaged seven years later? No. But um, it is what it is. It’s working for us. I’m not saying marriage is not in the cards but it hasn’t been, and that’s okay because we weren’t really ready.”

Check out her thoughts on that controversial proposal by watching the video below:

This story was originally posted on madamenoire.com

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