An old Cher song goes “If you want to know, if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss,” but according to experts, it could be in his words. Social scientists have studied the ways partnered folk speak to each other and how happy long-term connections tend to have a different language than relationship newbies.
Katie Ziskind, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Bustle, “Couples who have been in long-term relationships or marriages have a totally different style of communication.”
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These healthy communication styles are earned over years of conversation or maybe even through therapy with a professional. Over time, successful couples are able to understand each other and one another’s needs more and more, building a solid foundation for partnership on trustworthy grounds.
Happy significant others also have learned the power of pausing when engaged in an intense disagreement.
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“Both parties do not choose reaction, irrational words, or quick hurtful jabs,” Ziskind told Bustle.
“Instead, both parties know how to see the big picture.”
Bustle compiled a list of a few phrases happy partners use, that indicates their love is cruising towards forever.
1. “You Make Me Laugh”
Humor is relationship glue-especially during hard times. So it’s no surprise that the more you laugh with your person, the better.
“Couples who laugh together have usually the best relationships because they can mutually enjoy each other’s jokes, and similar interests,” Mackenzie Riel, relationship expert with TooTimid, told Bustle.
2. “You’re The Best”
As with any relationship, affirming partnerships tend to outpace connections where couples are super critical of one another.
“They were each other’s biggest fan, communicating excitement over the little and big things,” Anne Nelson, CAPP, ACC, positive psychology practitioner and coach, told Bustle of happy couples.
“Essentially, kindness served as the glue that held the marriages together.”
As the phrase goes, “gratitude is the best attitude.” And yes it’s corny being spoken, but in practice, it’s a beautiful thing.
“Happier couples express gratitude and thank one another even for the seemingly small day to day things,” Rachel Ann Dine, licensed professional counselor, told Bustle.
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