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via Keyaira Kelly on MadameNoire.com:
Newly married couples may think talking to a divorce attorney is the last thing you want to do, but they could give you some key tips on what to do to avoid ever heading to divorce court. Huffpost talked to divorce attorneys about a couple red flags you should look out for to determine if your relationship is built to last and here’s what they came up with…
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You Immediately Think They Are “The One”
Even though instant chemistry can be intoxicating, it could be your old triggers that are turned on. Liat Sadler, a specialist in family law in San Francisco told Huffpost that love at first sight may not mean they are the one for you, it could mean “instead, that this person feels familiar, like old patterns, old obsessions and old problems. If you want someone who brings out the best in you, that might not be the person who fits like an old glove. It might be healthier in the beginning of a relationship to feel uncertain and tenuous about the new person in your life.”
They Don’t Take Responsibility For Any Of Their Past Relationship Failures
Beware of the person who always blames their ex for a relationship’s demise. If your potential boo talked about all their exes being “crazy,” it may be a sign of trouble to come.
Morghan Richardson, a divorce attorney in New York City told Huffpo that blaming exes for everything is “a strong red flag that they won’t own their share of a relationship with you. Relationships take investment from both people. Someone who refuses to own their mistakes is not likely to fully invest, and you may end up being the one trying to make the relationship work.”
They’ve Been Divorced A Lot
Is this their second or third marriage rodeo? It could be a bad sign.
“We have a saying, ‘Sometimes it’s not the ex, it’s you that’s the problem.’ Unfortunately, we see repeat customers. Those who frequently marry are often quick to commit and quick to leave. For some, being married, just being married, makes them feel like they fit in,” Randall Kessler, a divorce attorney in Atlanta told Huffpo.
They Are Too Dependent
Yes, we love being with our partners, but they should have their own life too.
“There’s a sense of merging with the other person that can be beautiful if it happens in select moments,” Sadler told Huffpo. “But when that sense of merging lasts for a long time, it can indicate danger. This is the kind of relationship that can become volatile and even violent when one person starts to need space and differentiation from the other. Until they feel secure in themselves, they should probably take a break from dating and work on their self-esteem.”
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